Same way you eat an elephant...

Wat Chedi Luang

This entry is part summery of my recent past, part mental-processing, part excuse, part homework-for-you, and always incomplete.  (it is a bit wordy on my part, but your part comes in at the end)

Visakha Bucha Day

"Focus" in your daily life comes easy when you’re on the road since survival instincts are no longer on vacation, yet I feel like a Golden Retreiver that just walked on to the local high school tennis team’s practice court.

My brain has been gobbling it all up in typical ego-maniac fashion, “More, more, more!”  while my logic pleads to pump the breaks. There’s so much information that it becomes overwhelming to the point of paralysis.  I can't even chose a topic for my blog!

One of the Kuti's destroyed in a violent storm - no witches were harmed, only demons

So... Let me try and nutshell my brain’s gluttonous diet in recent past (this part is about me and my nutshell, if not interested, skip to lunch, below):

What I learned about Thailand’s civil struggle and cultural origins were quickly over-shadowed by Burma’s genocides.  Then, just as quickly, those injustices are pushed aside by a demanding mental health crisis (not my own) involving a schizophrenic in the middle of a forest monastery. 

What the schizophrenic also turns out to be, is the gatekeeper of a Noah-sized flood of thoughts, encompassing...

Forest Monastery meditation

-The realization of how thin the line is between sane and insane; 

-A contemplation of a culture’s belief system that has basis on a sane man who fought demons the same way that this schizophrenic did;  

-Comparisons between Western and Eastern religion, 

  -their roles for each society, 

  -their symbiotic relationship within each culture, 

-All along with a new understanding of how the brain works, and how the body and soul can override it, which leads me to developing an already established school of psychological thought that literally changes the way I think. 

*deep breath*

If you left me enough time alone with only this outlined fodder and a giant dictionary and reference book, I feel I could come out with two sociology study journals, a religious-society comparison article, a self help book, a psychology theory-comic book, an autobiography, and a cheap thriller novel.  

  ...intermission…

Yes, we hitch hiked on this through the mountain roads. "It was so reckless, even if we were Thais, Thai people would look as us and go, 'whoa, that's crazy.'" 

...and, back!

Instead of taking my time with these issues, I leave them undeveloped and on pause.  I immediately start interacting and helping to train a Kareni village publication who reports on Burmese refugees and replaces everything in my head, once again, by their struggle.

Road to the Kareni Village

"How can I help out??" I think, as I come down with something that I thought was Dangue Fever, and spend the next few days in the fetal position in my guest house, pondering my own mortality, habits, health, how alone one can be when you travel and where I want to be in life the next time I get this sick (don’t even get me started on health care and America’s view vs. the rest of the world’s view on it)  

Lucky for you, audience! This train of thought is interrupted by a notice that student loans are due, with no more deferments available, a visa application needs chest X-rays from registered doctors in Singapore and the post office has lost my oh so important package…  so when I realize that I’m still putting my blog off, I sit down and ask myself “Where the hell do I start?!

First bite: Processing...

Common lunch for a monk

It’s the same way you eat an elephant: One bite at a time.  I’m finding out processing is one of the most important aspects for self-actualization, wisdom, happiness, grounding, loving, understanding vs. knowing.  I’m not saying that I am much of the above, but am some of the later,  and it does seem to have a huge correlation. 

Studies have been made that show that keeping a journal/diary is in high correlation with people who “tend to be happier with their life.”  It’s because people realize what their day actually consists of and it allows for appreciation and processing.

for further understanding on this point, find time to watch this beautiful documentary, shot by ordinary people from youtube, around the world, all on July 24th:
  

..but keeping a journal is not for everyone. Some people meditate to process.  Some draw, run, walk, bike, make jewelry, drink coffee, make videos, talk to people, talk to themselves…. The amount of ways is vast, and it always speaks to the individual.  My own way contradicts all of my education – which is almost completely visual.  I don’t draw or work on photos to process my thoughts.  I can’t spell, and have never even really trained myself to write, but I’m such an extrovert that I need to be talking to someone to process.  I’m just polite enough to not put others through it (until this blog! Muahahahaha!)

...hahaha...ha

So here’s where you come in and gain. This is where your awareness begins.  

How do you process?  How do you consider your day?  Your relationship?  Your potential relationship? Your political views? That a$$ hole that flipped you off on the highway?  That smirk that the coffee barista gave you when they handed you your latte (ARE you supposed to tip them??) That white hair that keeps popping up (honestly, no one notices who doesn’t already care deeply about you).  The reach of your new facebook cover photo?  Your new homework? How can these sunflowers get so ridiculously tall??

It doesn’t have to be stunning, just personal, and should literally take less than a minute.  Use that answer for your own advantage.  You know what I mean. :)

If you want an offshoot question/s, maybe take a moment to ask what things you actually process.  How long do you take to consider certain issues?  Why is facebook already up on you browser before you finished even answering your question?

Answer for yourself, aware yourself to grow ;)  if you want to share, post down below. 

Wat Tam Wua

It's been far too long since I last posted.  Part of it was from being far away from internet, nestled in a forest monastery - Wat Tam Wua - that lies in a narrow valley in northern Thailand.

The name translates into "temple cave emptiness" or "empty cave temple."  

 It is a Vipassana meditation place of refuge, far away from big city and even little town life.  Abbot Lungta says he's been there for 36 years, and has made sure to open his doors to foreign travelers who are also seeking inner piece and nirvana.  Room and board are free with no limit to how long you can stay (I had met a couple of people who had been there for 4 months).  They ask for you to donate what you think it is worth, and as it’s a refuge to all, donations do not have to be monetary.  No reservations are needed as they will always find a way to accommodate your stay and unless they are exceptionally full, you get your own kuti (bungalow). They only ask that you take it seriously and stick to the daily schedule which involves getting up at 5AM, not eating past noon and at least 6 hours of meditation which is guided by English speaking monks. Do not worry, if I can do it, you can.  Depending on your purpose and desires, arrangements may be made with the Abbot to vary from their meditation schedule.   

The hardest part of this posting is in debating what to share about my experience.  Each experience is so personal, but Mine was an exceptionally unusual one, involving another traveler having a schizophrenic episode and lighting storms so violent that a kuti was crushed by a falling tree.  These two events during such a time of reflection are definitely not normal, but taught me the largest lessons of my travels.  I have a deeper understanding of how the mind works, different culture interactions and responses to crisis and spirituality, just to name a few. 

To be honest, I went into this with almost no knowledge of meditation.  I know you’re supposed to empty your head and focus on breath… but why?  I mean, really why?  I've discovered there seem to be three main reasons that people meditate.  (please understand this is my observation, and nothing is ever absolute).

1.  Cleaning up

To let your mind wander through it's experiences, processing as it goes which means that it siphons out some of the "noise" that's bouncing around your brain that you don't even register. This allows you to be more aware and present in your daily life.  Beginning Meditation retreats usually demand (literally) 10 days of your time because for at least the first half, you mind will be doing this. It was the last day before I even really "meditated" for the second reason.  

2.  Mental weight lift 

The idea of focusing on your breath and clearing your mind is the same as doing bench press for your body.  You're training your mind to focus on one thing, and ignore everything else that pops into your head.  I've found that the mind is chemically mushy, and neuron paths can forms ruts in its thought patterns.  The same way you learn to speed read, or any type of technique (think of the book Blink), or even just your awareness in your daily actions and thoughts, you can also blaze a neuron-trail that allows you to focus.  Like all new habits and paths, you must provide upkeep to keep the trail. Mental weight lift.

3. The "sublime"

Someone explained to me that drugs can be the elevator to increased awareness and appreciation (think "whoa, this tree is soooooo rad!" or “have you heard this song, when you’re high??”).  The problem is, it’s a one-push button that gets you there. You don't work out your legs, condition your heart or have to exert any effort at all besides pushing that button, unlike you would taking the stairs.  The mind on it’s own can (as I was unnerved to find out how easily it can) provide the same chemicals that provide hallucinations, body highs and surreal well being.  Meditation is the "stair way." It seems to me like the most intense and dedicated meditaters use this practice to get high (natural highs; The same way running or adrenaline sports provide). Unlike the schizophrenic who's brain gave her uncontrolled doses of mind chemicals that allowed her to hallucinate about demons, Buddha had to sit for hours and days before he got high enough to battle demons.  The cool thing about Buddha, is that he could shut it off, keep the awareness, and build a belief system that led people to this enlightenment (which is actually more about the practice and daily life, than getting high - the road traveled, not the destination.)

4. Other

I'm sure there are a million and one reasons that people meditate.  Feel free to share your reasons and questions below.

... and yes, that's rain in the image directly above :)

Even with the extreme events that occurred during my time away, and the fact that I went in practically not knowing anything about meditation and left with only truly practicing towards the end, I highly recommend a retreat.  It’s a chance to take a break and reset your body and mind.  It gave me the chance to process life changing events that I previously just didn’t have time to focus on.  It also gave me the chance to explore different views and takes on a variety of aspects in life; I feel stronger mentally, more healthy, and empowered in a way that I have not felt in ages.  It reminds me of a mental boot camp. 

If you’re in Thailand, almost every monastery can accommodate you if you have the courage to just talk to a monk (most will just approach you if you visit a temple).  As for other places around the world, the practices vary with each culture, but there is a serious of standard retreats set across the United States and across the whole world.  Here is one of the larger websites that can show you the closest one in your country: http://www.dhamma.org/en/

… any questions that you may have about my work or the Wat, please feel free to ask via comments below, facebook or email.

As the dust settles...

I've traded back and shoulder pains for calf knots. With every step, my calfs scream at me as I wander for miles around town almost every night, but as painful as it is, it is just as rewarding. Plus there's always a Thai masseuse yelling at you from across the street to come sit for a massage. At three dollars an hour, it's quite hard to justify not walking your legs to anguish.  The funny thing is that these pains came when I decided to rest my bags in Chiang Mai for six weeks, catching up with work, sleep, preparing for Songkran the Thai New Year's water festival, and most importantly trying to process everything that has happened since I flew into Phuket.

View Chiang Mai in a larger map

I began traveling Thailand five weeks ago, landing in Phuket airport and immediately heading to Surin Beach. There, I was thrown in with a wild bunch of amazing people from all over the world, all ready to cut loose for our friends' Yui and Richard's wedding. They got married on Surin Beach at sunset, surrounded by friends, tropics, fireworks, traditional Thai sky-lanturns and an unexpended storm that added more to the experience than it dampened the mood. 

A few friends joined me from California to travel 

Thailand, either during the wedding or shortly after. The momentum only gained as we traveled away from Puket with Chiang Mai as our destination, experiencing lightning storms in the water at Koh Lanta, seclusion at Koh Muk, rock climbing at Railay, a smorgasbord of interesting experiences in Bangkok, monkey invasions at Lop Buri, a different life at Phitsannulok (Pizza-Noodle), and ending in my favorite part of Thailand: the hub of northern flavors such as khao soy, eclectic spice, elephant love, hill tribe refugees and a slower and more friendly pace of life.

As my friends departed a week ago, I settled in for the long haul.  Chiang Mai is a cooler climate and one of the cheaper parts of Thailand.  Usually dubbed one of the top favorite places for tourists, the population of Thais are around 175,000 and the number of expats and backpackers can probably push it past 200,000 at any given time. Expecting a quiet place to catch up with photos and videos, I've found that unless you use headphones, most likely someone will invite you over to their table or invite themselves over to yours.  From my experience, I gauge it as the slower, more artistic and happier of the larger cities in Thailand.  The San Francisco of California, but without all the money or trends.

Laos and Myanmar are waiting for me only a bus ride away, but I feel that they can wait for a time.  Yesterday was the first day of summer here, which is not a welcome feeling for the Thais.  The heat mixes with the smoke from the burning fields (best fertilizer there is) and from others' stories, soon after the water festival will be a great time to move further up north.  Until then, I will be posting regular entries, videos and photographs (or at least trying- even a city this large has a lot of internet problems!)
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